A Full Helping Of Insanity

My Mom's side of the family is a little crazy.

And by crazy I mean running through stores singing "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!" crazy. Loud and obnoxious crazy. Tears streaming and gut split open because you're laughing so hard crazy. Yeah. I know.

My mother is one of 6 sisters. Each sister is married making 12 aunts and uncles. 35 cousins. 20 children from 13 of those 35 cousins. If you were to gather those 67 people to one place for, say a family reunion? Imagine the above CRAZINESS MANIFESTED IN 67 PEOPLE. Ok, ok. So maybe not every single person possesses the same level of crazy because I was including the implants* in my count of 67. You figure though that the implants must have a screw or two loose to join the family in the first place. It's not like they didn't know what they were getting themselves into. Sure my mom's side of the family put on a show! Just not a fake one. We joke about that being the ultimate test for implants. SURVIVING THE FAMILY. I know my husband thought twice about the whole marriage thing after a family get-together. They're hugging me! Why are they hugging me?! I've never met these people in my life! Wait . . . did she just grab my butt?! Ok, ok. None of my aunts or cousins ever actually grabbed Gary's butt. But I wouldn't put it past them! It may yet still happen!

To transition into what I was originally trying to tell you all, that's where I was this past weekend. THE QUICK FAMILY ROUND-UP OF 2008. Or in plain English, the bi-annual family reunion for the crazies. And boy did it deliver! A full helping of insanity all around! Seconds anyone? There's leftovers! My super creative cousin Lora planned and organized the entire event. It's all about the details for her and she left nothing untouched by her imaginative genius (we played a lot of make-believe as kids). Lora launched a full-scale pirate themed weekend complete with an Under the Sea Dining restaurant, Scallywag Cinema, and of course an intense, battle-to-the-death treasure hunt! Well, actually, I think we had a couple of those. The bodies kept piling up . . . . ahem. Anyhoo, moving on. Popcorn, an outdoor theater, fog machines, pirate coins, a treasure chest cake, "Arrrrgh mateys!", the most amazing snow cones . . . . . . . should I keep going? Because I totally can.

Lora had treasure hunts and water games planned to keep the kids entertained. She also threw in a couple for the adults. I don't think Lora anticipated the adults being WAY more competitive than the children. Sticking the bandanna-clad adults behind the wheels of three 15 seater vans for a video scavenger hunt might not have been the safest idea. Curbs were ran over, traffic laws were broken, and some of the general public were a little freaked out I'm sure. Then again, we were in Utah. They were probably thinking, "Those (insert expletive here) Mormons! Why can't they just get drunk like normal people!" ADRENALINE. The Latter-Day Saint's drug.** Instead of needles we use crazy timed scavenger hunts to procure a hit. We had 30 tasks with only one hour to complete them all. You'd have adrenaline surging through your veins too if you thought you were going to loose to the Brown Team! I cringe at the thought!

For five days my aunt Terrie's house was packed with bodies. Her yard sported four RVs and a scattering of tents. Races to the food, lines for the bathroom, and kids, kids, kids! EVERYWHERE. It was loud. Overwhelmingly loud. Everybody is loud in that family. Even the implants. Well except for Karen and Gary, and Amy always fills both of their noise quotas. Talking, crying, whining, yelling, sneezing, singing, cackling and laughing filled the house, or property rather. Mostly laughing though. My abs were seriously protesting. But it was seriously fun (oxymoron anyone?). And I decided that I seriously love having a loud, obnoxious, unscrupulous family. I'm serious about this. And if you're really good, I might tell you about the HANDS-DOWN, WITHOUT QUESTION, MOST SIDE-SPLITTING GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED. But only if you're good. Seriously.


*Those individuals who have married into the family. Yeah, I'm not sure what they were thinking either.
**Do you think I'll get struck down?