Pineapple

Excerpt of a phone conversation with my favorite nurse whom we'll call G.

ME: Yeah I just wanted to make sure that I received the right dosage. The nurses at the other clinic got me all mixed up.

G: Don't worry, you did and I'll call your pharmacy to put in an order for your next dose.

ME: Oh one more question. I know that side effects will be different for each person and what affects one may not apply to another, but I was wondering when I should start noticing a difference?

The latest treatment my doctor prescribed had me really anxious in the weeks leading up to the first injection and I'm not talking can't wait anxious, I mean nervous wreck anxious. I've been a mess not because of the actual treatment, but because of the POSSIBLE side effects. The horror stories I've heard from friends who were on this drug made me certain that I was doomed to 6 months of headaches, hot flashes, bone density loss, extreme moodiness, and . . . . . . um . . . . ahem . . . loss of appetite. I could deal with most everything, but I was really concerned about the extreme moodiness. My PMS weeks are no prancing through meadows catching butterflies experiences. I get very irrational and though I know I'm PMSing, it's really hard to control the flashes of anger and the unexplained sobbing. Each time I go through this it shaves a year off of my husband's life, so you can imagine my apprehension with a drug that could potentially have me PMSing for 6 MONTHS STRAIGHT. Gary would be dead before he turned 50, that is, if our marriage survived! Gary convinced me that he would be understanding and patient if I went physco on him and we even came up with a code word that he could use to bring me back down to the rational world of thought. So I finally went through with my first injection on January 14th and thus far I haven't noticed any major changes in my moods or temperature. Still uneasy and having a couple of questions about my injection anyway, I called my nurse G.

ME: Yeah I just wanted to make sure that I received the right dosage. The nurses at the other clinic got me all mixed up.

G: Don't worry, you did and I'll call your pharmacy to put in an order for your next dose.

ME: Oh one more question. I know that side effects will be different for each person and what affects one may not apply to another, but I was wondering when I should start noticing a difference?

G: Let's see, you received your shot on the 14th? Yeah it's been two and a half weeks, you would have already been experiencing side effects by now.

I hung up the phone. No moodiness or hot flashes! YAAAAAY! Then I started to cry. Oooook, so maybe I'm not out of the woods yet. I have a hard believing that with what they're doing to my hormones that I'm not going to suffer some sort of repercussions in the next 6 months, but I'm going to be grateful for every day that passes by without the above torture. Just know that if you smile at me and I burst into tears or I start yelling at you for standing to close to me that you can always say "pineapple" and that might cause my brain to function rationally long enough for me to apologize.