Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Concentration is not my forte today. What's strange is the culprit isn't one of the usual suspects in the line up. I'm not tired, in pain, grouchy, sad, hungry, or stressed. No, no the bug I've caught is radically different indeed. My condition subtly began this morning and, as the day has worn on, intensified. I've developed Sudden Lack of Concentration Due to Acute Giddiness. GIDDINESS I TELL YOU! While helping a customer, another employee in fact, I attempted to explain a product and instead laughed. Well, it started more as a chuckle really and grew from there into full-blown belly laughs rendering me unable to form coherent sentences. What was so funny you ask? I DON'T KNOW! That's why I'm convinced that I must be suffering from some unseen condition. Normal, sane people don't laugh uncontrollably while telling a customer what size batteries they need for the universal remote they're purchasing. Something of a humorous nature should proceed such bouts of laughter. Things like a joke, an extra funny episode of The Office, someone clumsily tripping over their own feet and sending themselves sprawling all over the sidewalk. Oh come on guys, you know that crap is FUNNY, unless of course the individual receives the senior discount and may not recover so well from such a fall.

I had a spill of my own yesterday afternoon stepping down from a step ladder sideways. I tried to plant my left foot on the ground so my right foot could then follow suit, but somehow my left shoe developed an intense attraction to the grippy rubber of the step and the small suit-clad man in charge of my reflexes failed to get the memo to my right foot in time. Must've been the end of his shift. I'm going to have to call a productivity meeting with the management. Anyway, moving on. My right foot came down whilst the left was still engaged which then caused a complete loss of balance resulting in my body flying sideways off the step ladder and ending with my head wedged up against the wall, my left arm twisted awkwardly underneath my body and a bright red rug-burn gracing my left shin. I had so much momentum I ACTUALLY SLID across the carpet and into the wall WITH MY HEAD! Where's the scoring sheet?! 10 POINTS FOR BRITTANY! My mother had been facing the opposite direction and had only caught the tail-end of my grand performance. Being a mother, she rushed over alarmed asking what happened and if I was all right. All I could do was lay there battered and laughing. "Mom, I'm sorry you missed it. It was a good one." Yeah it hurt, but man, if I could've seen it! I'm certain I would've been on the floor laughing till my abs protested. Well I guess I was doing that anyway, but with the company of some sore body parts and the mental video of how the fall would've looked to the casual passerby not expecting such a gift to be dropped into their lap. We got to keep 'em young and if somebody has to biff it now and again so others can have a good laugh, then so be it, but I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes, the laughing and the giddiness and the absence of focus. Since the whole universal remote episode I've been smiling annoyingly big goofy grins and chuckling to myself for no reason. I'm having a hard time not busting up every time some unsuspecting soul walks through the door. Thankfully it hasn't been very busy today. I already have at least five people musing that I'm totally nutso, or at the very least unhinged. I'd like to keep that list relatively short. I'm not quite sure where this giddiness is coming from, but I hope it doesn't last too long because while I'm having a great time and all, it is interfering A LOT with my focus. I can't seem to stay on task or remember what I was saying. You don't think yesterday's fall and hitting my head has something to do with it do you?

1 comment:

ShEiLa said...

I hope it doesn't have anything to do with your fall... sometimes I just get in strange moods.

For instance...
missed getting the trash out Sunday night and the garbage man comes so darn early... I missed the trash pickup all together. Then the tears came and the outright hysterical crying. Yvette kept saying Mom it's oK... it is not worth being upset over.

I would much rather be giddy and silly and full of smiles and laughter than being uncontrolably sad.